Wednesday, April 16

5 Ways To Convience Your Daughter Her Boyfriend Is An Idiot

For the past year I have search the Internet trying to find helpful hints on how to help my daughter realize that her Prince is, and will always remain a toad. I found things like, "How To Tell Your Boyfriend It's Over," or "When Mr. Right is Mr. Wrong," but nothing on a mother trying to save her daughter from Mr. Wrong.

So I took the old, "they have to find out for themselves" approach.
OK, I can do this...deep breath. After all Im laid back, easy to get along with right?

So what if work isn't anything that interests him or his education consists of the latest video game or how he doesn't know how he is going to get his car fixed because that takes money. All that matters is that Einstein gets at least 12 hours sleep so that he can give advice to those of us that haven't yet lived life. No problem!

It worked for awhile. I would smile and just be thankful that their relationship had not reached the point of a life long commitment or heaven forbid... Reproduction!

But then I became reminded almost daily by a friend or family member who would casually mention his name and then something about a french fry short of a happy meal. I guess it was along about the 5th happy meal I decided to conduct an experiment and see if I could develop a system that had not been introduced to mothers in the same situation or at least had not been shared with the rest of us.
Below are the 5 ways that worked for me. Individual results may vary!

1. Hug your daughter each morning and tell her how much you love her and that her boyfriend is an idiot.

2. Text your daughter over her lunch hour just to remind her that her boyfriend is an idiot.

3. Take your daughter out to lunch and talk about the nightmare you had about your grandchildren being idiots.

4. Text your daughter again right before bed with the definition of idiot.

5. Leave sticky notes with the word idiot on the refrigerator, bathroom mirror and on her computer.

Repeat as needed.

Side effects can include: dizziness caused by extreme happiness. Smiling that does not go away. Decrease in psyciatric treatment followed by an increase in better days ahead. If you experience any of these side effects just keep hoping they never go away!!!!


Anonymous said...

Terrible advice. The mother or father should act like a human being and talk with his or her child. Not plant the words "your boyfriend is an idiot" in her mind. That's just stupid. And for all those mothers who are considering this - please understand you will only hurt your relationship with your daughter.

DONNA said...

Yes, I agree especially if there are those that can't tell this was just a humorous post and not to be taken seriously!!!